Villainous Hubris
by Hyper Kid
Summary: Something strange has been going on at Stark Mansion, so Coulson gives his old friend Bobby Singer a call. Post Season 7 of Supernatural, post Avengers movie. Prequel explanation for Preggo'd Your Eggo.
1. Chapter 1

HK: And here's something else I promised to post ages ago! It's going through somewhat of a rewrite since, as I actually have an ending planned out for this fic, it currently seems rushed as Hell. Who knew that was a side effect of having a plan? Anyway, enjoy ladies and gents! I'll post more as I remember.

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or the Avengers. I've actually seen Avengers the least out of my beloved crew (only three times…) but I wouldn't say no to owning the boys! ;)

WARNINGS! BWAHAHAHA as if I'd tell you now! Then you'd know what I was planning! And it's a good plan. )

XXXX

Tony strolled down to the lab and paused.

"Huh." The glass walls and doors surrounding his personal playground had been shattered. He snapped his fingers at the camera high on the wall. "Hey, didn't we fix these last week?"

Admittedly they went through a lot of glass in the lab, but he was pretty sure he hadn't done anything to it this week. There was a brief pause as JARVIS checked his records before the cultured voice slid out of the walls.

"Indeed, sir. The glass was intact until a few minutes ago. I was about to send a message to the contractor." JARVIS didn't seem particularly bothered by that, but Tony was a little perplexed. He hummed to himself, tapping his fingers on his chin.

"Use a different guy, JARVIS. That's the second time the glass has broken itself. Oh, and tell Pepper to have someone clean that up." He turned and headed back up the stairs. He could just fly on over to Stark tower to play with the toys there…

XX

Clint was busy raiding Tony's fridge when the engineer passed through the kitchen. He glanced over, confused.

"Hey, I thought you were going to the lab," the archer tried to hide the sandwich he was making. Tony glanced over, raised an eyebrow at the terrible deception, and shrugged.

"Yeah, well, the floor is covered in glass so I'm going to the tower. Want to join?" He wasn't unduly upset by the plan change, or by Clint stealing his food. He was just surprised that the agent wasn't busy with some SHIELD business. Clint made a small noise of surprise.

"What did you do this time?"

"Nothing," Tony replied with a shrug, "the contractor just messed up." He glanced out the window. It was a nice day, perhaps he would drive. Nah, like he needed an excuse to use the Iron Man suit.

Coulson walked in, which wasn't usually a good sign for Tony's day. Abruptly the temperature dropped and Clint dropped his sandwich.

"Wow, Tony, way to welcome a guy!" He knew Tony was fond of his practical jokes, but this was a little extreme. You could see their breath fogging in the air! Tony raised his hands with his best innocent face.

"Hey, I didn't do anything! JARVIS, what did you do to the AC?" He turned, frowning at the ceiling. It was a habit a lot of people picked up when talking to the AI.

Coulson had an odd expression on his face, but then it had just dropped thirty degrees when he entered. Clint figured that was probably it. JARVIS made a thoughtful sound (did computers really do that?) and the heaters in the room cranked up.

"There is no problem registering in the air conditioning systems, sir, but I have turned the heaters on to compensate. Running a full system diagnostic now." JARVIS actually sounded puzzled, which Clint hadn't actually heard before. The archer rolled his eyes.

"This house is crazy, Tony. How do you put up with all the flickering lights and the weird noises? Is JARVIS partying without us?"

"I would not do such a thing," the AI cut in. It seemed offended, and Clint figured that he was probably in trouble. It wasn't a good idea to upset the system that ran the house. And if he needed a reminder why… "Shall I add chicken to the shopping list, sir, since Agent Barton has dropped most of it?"

Tony snickered at Clint's obvious discomfort. He didn't actually care about the archer's habit of illicit sandwich making, but it was pretty funny. Coulson cleared his throat, still looking at Tony strangely.

"Do you often have these problems, Mister Stark?" He was speaking like he was investigating, but neither of them could think what. Tony shrugged casually.

"Yeah, it's just JARVIS getting creaky in his old age, I'm going to give him a tune up soon." He waved a hand dismissively. JARVIS was not impressed.

"I assure you sir I am functioning at one hundred percent capacity. There may be a hardware problem that my sensors cannot detect." If it was possible for an AI to sound huffy, JARVIS managed it. Clint pointed an accusing finger at Tony.

"That's another thing too. Your robots keep stealing my stuff. I put my phone down for five minutes and it disappeared!" It had later turned up at the top of the stairs, but since he hadn't found it until after he had stepped on it and fallen, he didn't bother to mention that part. "And they throw things at me!"

Coulson was muttering something to himself as he left, but since he hadn't actually delivered whatever pile of homework he had showed up to assign Tony couldn't force himself to call the guy on it.

He turned his attention instead to Clint and defending the honour of Dummy and the other robots.

XXXX

HK: Can you guess? Can you guess? The first person to guess what's going on (or any part of my evil plan really…) wins a free cameo!


	2. Chapter 2

HK: And here is the second chapter! If it seems kind of rushed that is because it is, having an ending planned seems to do that to me… I apologize.

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural

WARNINGS! Broken!Cas :( Also I HATE MEG. She's not in this chapter but HAAAATE

XXXX

Dean flipped his phone shut and tossed it through the open window of the Impala onto his sleeping brother.

"Hey, wake up Sammy!" He called, a wide grin on his face. He didn't think he had smiled this widely since taking Castiel to that strip club… Sam had jolted awake when the phone hit his chest and now sat up, glaring at his brother.

"What the hell dude?" The phone was tossed back as Dean slid into the driver's seat, still grinning all over his face.

"That was Bobby," he announced, gunning the engine, "and he has a job for us." Sam rolled his eyes, still not in the best mood after being woken up.

"Seriously Dean? I thought we were taking a break after all this leviathan crap." He slouched back in his seat, squinting against the bright sun. Dean still hadn't stopped bloody smiling.

"Yeah, well, we're gonna want to take this one Sammy," Dean assured his little brother. "Tony Stark has a poltergeist." Sam's jaw dropped.

"Tony Stark… as in THE Tony Stark?"

"Yup."

"Drive faster."

XXX

Sam and Dean very rarely got excited about ghost hunts anymore. After saving the world twice, they were well used to punching above their pay grade and ghosts weren't much of a challenge. They were a known quantity. This did not stop Dean from practically vibrating all the way to Miami.

"Tony Stark. We're going to meet THE Tony Stark. You know he went 12 for 12 with the Maxim cover models last year? And the year before?" Dean blurted out as they stopped for gas. Sam rolled his eyes, having heard variations on this theme for the past two days as they crossed the country.

"Yes, never mind that he's a genius who invented a completely clean energy source."

"He's Iron Man!" Dean countered, "That is totally cooler than some pussy green energy thing. Hey… do you think he'll let me try the suit?" He gave Sam an eager smile, and the younger brother rolled his eyes.

"No," he said flatly. Dean deflated, sticking his tongue out at him.

"Bitch."

"Jerk." Sam sighed, running a hand through his hair and grabbing a water bottle from the back seat. He chugged most of it, leaning against the side of the car. It had been a long drive. Still, he was looking forward to meeting Tony Stark. "What's our in?" Dean shrugged, leaning against the Impala himself as he filled her up.

"Pest control. Nice and simple. We can have a look around, see if we can work out who might have died there." Sam passed him the water bottle and he finished it, sighing. "Reckon we'll see any models while we're there? You know, in the buff?" He wiggled his eyebrows with a grin. Sam rolled his eyes again, smacking him upside the head.

"You're disgusting," he informed his brother. Straightening, he went further down and tugged the box of fake IDs from the glove compartment. It didn't take long for him to find the two he was looking for and he tossed the box back. He waved the IDs at Dean. "Will we need uniforms?" The car was just about full, so Dean hung the nozzle back on the stand and shrugged.

"Maybe. Wear your regulars underneath though, just in case there are any hot chicks!" Hope springs eternal, but even that didn't hold a candle to Dean at the thought of women. Sam didn't even bother to comment this time. Instead he got into the car as Dean slid the credit card into the gas pump.

Not long after the other door opened and Dean landed heavily beside him. "Are we gonna get to wear Ghostbuster packs?" That one had a slight smile breaking across even Sam's face and he sighed.

"Sure. Filled with salt water and iron fillings." He meant it sarcastically but Dean took it literally, letting out a whoop and playing a short drum solo on the steering wheel.

"I love the Ghostbuster packs," he explained as they pulled out. They were on the edge of town now, only a few hours from the Stark mansion, but since they still had to round up pest control uniforms and apparently Ghostbuster packs now, Sam figured they had at least a day until they would be in Tony Stark's house.

The very thought had a somewhat reluctant grin tugging the corners of Sam's mouth up past his ears. Dean may only appreciate Tony's playboy status and admittedly badass range of electronics, but Sam respected the many technical advances that had been brought about by the genius.

While he didn't appreciate the man's attitude (he got more than enough of that from Dean every day and if Stark lived up to even half of his reputation for the same reasons as Dean he was hiding in a truly massive closet), he was something of a personal hero of Sam's. They pulled in to the first motel they saw, and Dean leaned across to fix Sam with a serious frown.

"Hey… when we meet Tony Stark, try not to embarrass me?" Sam could have hit him.

XXX

Sam adjusted his pack for about the sixtieth time as they walked up to the doors of Stark Manor. The stupid thing was ridiculously weighty and uncomfortable, and for the billionth time he wondered why he had let Dean talk him into this.

What was worse, Dean didn't seem to be feeling any discomfort. He was grinning like a loon, bouncing with every step. Sam tried not to bitchface too hard as he rang the doorbell. A few minutes later Tony Stark himself opened the door, looking them over.

"Yeah?" The billionaire was shorter than Sam had expected. Didn't seem to matter to Dean though, who's jaw had dropped. Seeing that his brother wasn't particularly coherent, Sam cleared his throat.

"Hey… I'm Larry, this is my partner Bill. We're from United Pest Control. We got a call about the house?" Sam shuffled the pack again, wishing he could take it off.

Tony didn't look particularly convinced and Dean probably wasn't helping with his blatant gaping, but luckily someone else wandered into the hall before the situation got any more awkward. He was wearing an immaculate suit, but he seemed to actually recognize them. He headed over at once, gently shoving Tony to one side.

"You must be Sam and Dean. Mister Singer said you'd be coming, so you won't be needing the monkey suits. Come in." He held the door open and watched them passively until they complied. Stark looked a little offended.

"Uh, Coulson, you do remember the part where it's my house?" Although interestingly enough, he wasn't actually arguing with the call. Sam gratefully shrugged the backpack off, dropping it just outside the door before stepping in. Dean was giving the new guy, Coulson, an odd look but that didn't stop him from coming in. Completely ignoring Tony, Coulson gestured to the pack.

"What's in the packs?" He sounded honestly curious, and apparently he knew Bobby so Sam decided to give him an honest answer. Any hero worship of Tony Stark had kind of degenerated at finding out the billionaire was about the same size as Gabriel. And had about the same amount of attitude.

"Salted holy water. It should work on ghosts or demons," he explained. Coulson nodded as though he understood completely, but both of Tony's eyebrows disappeared under his hair.

"Whoa, I don't want you harbouring fugitives from the nut farm in my house." And there went Dean's hero worship. He shot Tony a glare.

"Hey, we're not crazy. You're the one with the poltergeist, if you don't want our help we can just go." He grabbed Sam's arm, spinning him around. It didn't seem like Tony was about to stop them, and if Coulson hadn't been there they might actually have left. Which would have been a shame. As it was the agent stepped in, closing the door.

"There's no need for that. Perhaps we should move to the living room so I can brief Mister Stark on the reality of spirits?" Coulson didn't sound particularly thrilled by the idea, and Sam shared a look with Dean.

"We might have a friend who would be better at convincing him…"

"Cas?" Dean asked, a small frown furrowing his brow. "Are you sure?" Sam shrugged. True, they hadn't seen the fallen angel in a while, but he wasn't exactly himself since the Lucifer incident. Tony rolled his eyes, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Bring in whoever you like, apparently SHIELD has decided to take over the whole house anyway. Not that it'll matter, the only spirits I believe in are the kind you drink." As if to prove it he wandered over to a convenient bar and poured himself a drink. He waved the decanter at the other three. "Anyone else gonna join me?"

Dean smirked in spite of himself. True, his attitude towards Tony had changed from hero worship to the usual "civilian-won't-be-much-use" category, but he could still admire the man's style. They had a lot in common.

"Sure, I'll have one." He took the glass from Tony, clinking it with the new glass the billionaire poured in a short toast. Tony seemed to approve of the choice, as he gave Dean a speculative smile. The hunter raised his glass with a smirk. "Don't write our friend off just yet… Cas can be pretty persuasive."

He snickered as he recalled the first time he had met the angel. It would be pretty hard for anyone to deny the existence of the paranormal after meeting Castiel. Tony rolled his eyes, downing his scotch.

"Whatever you say kid." He lead the way to the lounge, dropping onto a sofa and spreading his arms across the back. "Okay, call your friend," he directed Dean, pointing with his empty glass, "how long will it take him to get here?" Dean put his own glass on the table.

"Seconds." Tony clearly didn't believe him, but that didn't matter all that much. Dean took a deep, slightly nervous breath. They hadn't seen that much of Castiel since the whole leviathan incident… Dean wasn't convinced he'd come. Still, the angel had never let him down yet.

Dean shut his eyes, bowing his head. "Oh mighty Castiel, angel of Thursday and protector of bunnies and kittens, we pray to you to spare us a moment of your time and scare the crap out of this arrogant mortal." He waited for a moment, then opened his eyes. Sam and Coulson were both looking around for the angel. Tony was smirking at him from the couch.

"Seriously? Well, as entertaining as that was-"

"I did not find it particularly entertaining." A wide smile spread across Dean's face as Tony jumped about a foot in the air, scrambling off the sofa to get away from the calm voice just behind his ear. Castiel watched impassively, tilting his head in the way he always did when he was confused. Tony spun around, pointing at the angel.

"When the hell did he get here?" The billionaire was wide eyed as many people were after meeting Cas for the first time, but it was switching to suspicion. Castiel gave him a perplexed frown.

"I was called here. Dean requested that I scare you, but I was not sure how to go about it," the angel explained as if this was something he did every day. Sam walked cautiously over to the angel, trying not to startle him. When Cas turned to face him, a relieved smile broke across the hunter's face.

"It's great to see you again, Cas," the hunter confessed, pulling the angel into a hug. Castiel smiled back (which still looked wrong to Dean, but slowly he was getting used to this new Cas), returning the hug.

"It is good to see you as well, Sam," Cas said, pulling back and resting a hand on the side of Sam's face. "I had thought you would not wish to see me again." For a second it was like the old Castiel was back, albeit a slightly more touchy version.

Then Castiel leaned forward, pressing his lips to Sam's.

Sam's eyes bugged at once, but he didn't try to pull away. Later he would tell Dean that it was because he didn't want to offend Cas and have him disappear on them. Dean would even pretend to believe him. For now though, the older brother was left staring in shock as Castiel made out with Sam.

Tony had calmed down considerably once he was the only one not freaked out. He sidled over to Dean, smirking as he nudged him in the ribs.

"Does he normally do that? Because a gay angel is so cliché." He chuckled as Sam's hands came up to hold Castiel's hips, not even trying to push him away. Dean spared a glare for the guy.

"Shut up. Cas is just kinda…" brain damaged "affectionate." Hearing his voice, Castiel pulled away from Sam, teleporting across the room.

"Are you angry, Dean?" he asked barely inches away from the hunter. Dean resisted the urge to take a step back as Tony snickered beside him. He swallowed, wondering how to get out of this without making out with the angel and losing all credibility. He settled for putting a hand on the angel's shoulder.

"Course not, Cas… I just missed you. So… why did you kiss Sam?" Dean was a little hesitant to ask, but Cas had been looking at his lips speculatively so he spit the question out. It served its purpose, redirecting Castiel's attention back up his face.

"Meg told me to," he said simply, as though there was nothing wrong with that. "She said I should kiss you and Sam." Dean groaned, smacking his head with the palm of his hand.

"That bitch… she would."

"She said you disliked her because you were jealous I hadn't kissed you," Castiel informed him like it was a perfectly normal thing to say. Tony was grinning all over his face now, watching the cabaret. Dean muttered a few choice swearwords to himself but didn't say any of them aloud.

He didn't want Cas vanishing on them again, even more so now that he knew Cas was going back to that demon bitch.

Beside him Stark smirked, drumming his fingers on the rim of his glass. He had adapted pretty well to the new reality of angels. But then, his flexibility had always been one of his strengths.

"Who's Meg?" He asked teasingly. Dean glared down at him again, his fingers tightening on Castiel's shoulder.

"She's a demon," the hunter snapped. Tony looked a little taken aback, but he assimilated pretty quickly.

"So, angels are real, and demons. Ghosts too apparently. Anything else I should know about?" Tony asked, tapping out the beat from Thunderstruck on his glass. Dean glanced down at his fingers for a moment, distracted by the familiar tune.

"Pretty much everything, really. Vampires, werewolves, zombies, shifters, fairies..."

"Fairies?" Tony cut him off there, an incredulous look on his face. Dean grimaced, remembering his own personal experience.

"Fairies, man. Little shits captured me once. I deep fried one in a microwave." He grinned at the memory of the sound it made. Stark looked impressed in spite of himself. He raised his glass in a mock toast.

"Classy."

"I know," Dean agreed easily. He had forgotten about Castiel until the angel spoke.

"This one is… strange." The angel was now staring at Coulson from maybe a centimetre away. The agent was handling it remarkably well, although he looked about as disturbed as Tony had ever seen him.

Sam hurried over, now recovered from the shock of an angelic snogging session. He took Castiel's shoulders, giving Coulson an apologetic smile.

"Sorry… he has personal space issues. What do you mean, Cas?" The angel tilted his head at Coulson, not particularly objecting to Sam moving him.

"He does not react." Cas broke Sam's grip effortlessly, stepping forward and grabbing Coulson and pulling him into a violent kiss. Tony took a few steps closer, looking objectively at the pair. Coulson had frozen completely, waiting for someone else to get the angel off him.

Cas was kissing him like his life depended on it, holding the front of his jacket in a steel grip.

"Not a bad technique," Tony decided, biting back a grin. Coulson shot him a glare around the angel, who pulled back just as Sam was about to tug him away. Castiel examined Coulson's face for a moment, then turned back to Sam, a hurt frown on his face.

"Why does he not like me?" His eyes were wide and so ridiculously blue that Sam just couldn't think of anything to say. He turned to Dean, shrugging helplessly. Dean glared at Coulson, gesturing to the angel.

"Come on, man! Hug him or something!" A bit hypocritical of him really, but no one other than Sam knew that. Coulson stepped forward awkwardly, putting a hand on Castiel's shoulder.

"I… I do like you," he said stiffly. Castiel turned his adorable puppy eyes on the man and Coulson pulled him into a hug. Sam cleared his throat, wondering how the hell this day could get any weirder.

"He's got a point actually. Most people aren't that calm when Cas is getting up close and personal." He looked curiously at Coulson, who had released Castiel but kept the hand on his shoulder. The SHIELD agent shrugged.

"I have to deal with him on a regular basis, this is nothing," he explained, gesturing at Tony. Tony frowned, straightening.

"Hey, I don't get all up in your business." Admittedly it was one of the only things he didn't do, and was something he had been considering until Castiel proved that it wouldn't work. Dismissing it as unimportant, Coulson turned to Sam.

"So… are all angels like this?" He regretted the question almost at once as Castiel looked down at him, lip wobbling. "Not that it's a bad thing," he amended quickly.

"Nah, most of them are dicks," Dean stated bluntly. Sam wanted to object, but he really couldn't. Most of the angels they met were dicks.

XXXX

HK: You guys really made me sad by the way.. NO ONE guessed poltergeist! I so thought you all would! I will be less subtle next time.


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